Breathing Slowly
by Gleek4Lfe
Summary: I guess I should thank my lucky stars that she was there on that street on that particular night. Because if she wasn't I'd hate to think how my life would have turned out, I was headed down a narrow road with no turning back had it not been for her I might not be alive. This is a Story written through Santana's point of view. check it out, might surprise you ;
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys this is my first fic so be nice! lol Naw but if it truly sucks let me know and I'll stop my nonsense but if you think it has potential which i do, drop a line, it works great for the creative mind :) enjoy!

oh and I DO NOT own glee or any of its characters. If i did i surely would NOT give Rachel her own little spinoff pshhh thats just ridiculous!

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Chapter 1: Falling into Her

_Is it wrong to say I loved her, I loved her and I knew nothing about her, I loved her with every breath she took, and every life she changed? She changed me and she didn't even know it. Still to this day I'm befuddled with how she walked right into my life and changed my whole world around. I guess I should thank my lucky stars that she was there on that street on that particular night. Because if she wasn't I'd hate to think how my life would have turned out, I was headed down a narrow road with no turning back had it not been for her I might not be alive._

_ This is my story and how I fell in love with the most life changing, breathtakingly beautiful Brittany S. Pierce._

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New York, December 09, 2009

It was one of those nights cold as hell and dark as fuck, I guess I should have been scared to walk by myself at night but the pistol pressed against my back said otherwise. Don't get me wrong my face has had its fair share of spending one on one time with the pavement currently beneath my feet, but no one can expect to stay on top forever. Things change and people change. I should know more than anyone, seeing as how people you trust the most can turn on you like the switch of a light. This is why I'm out here to begin with.

_Puck? Of all_ _people why, why would you do this to me? Do I really deserve this from you?_No I don't! To think I've had his back for as long as I've been able to physically keep up with him_. You're my BROTHER for Christ sake. _

"Breathe Santana you got this".

_Are you sure?_

"Yes I'm sure! Shut up!" _Great now people are going to think you're crazy._ I shake my head trying to get some order in the mesh I call my brain.

I really do love walking at night its refreshing and I do it quite often. When its dark out you get to experience things that might not cross your mind during the day, like being able to see into someone's life through the window of their apartment, or watching people huddle up together trying to stay warm from the cold, or just how quite it can actually get in New York when no one is looking. These things help me to clear my head, step back and look at a situation from everyone's point of view and be able to make the best decision for everyone. We wouldn't want to kill someone and not be absolutely sure they deserved it now would we? Ergo, why I'm out here to begin with.

"Puck" hmm. My own flesh and blood. _I can't protect you this time Puck; you've really stuck your nose in it this time. _"Not that I'd want to either".

"You know if you keep" I Froze. _Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. _"Talking to yourself people are gonna think you lost your marbles Lopez." I slowly turn around a fake smile easily spreading across my face.

"David shrimp Dick Karofsky?" I say tilting my head already in my HBIC stance. Slowly moving my left hand to my, oh so ready pistol. "To what do I owe this oh so unexpected visit, if I may be so bold."

"Now, now Santana you know all too well why I'm here, and if you keep reaching for that pistol Azimio", he jesters behind me "will not be so kind."

"I thought we already went through this Pea for Brains" _How the hell am I gunna get out of this. _"I run this City, I thought you knew your place, but if you need to be reminded" I trail off. Looking around there's an alley off to my right; if I run I might make it before BIG ASS Azimio and Karofsky dick face can pull out there guns.

"Look San, Puck sent us. Seems your rain is over" _Wait what? _

"Come again?"

"Puck _sent_ us, what can't_ you hear_?_"_

"Puck my brother sent you too? To kill me?" I Laugh.

"What are you trying to say" he says taking offense.

"Sending a couple bitches like you" I say closing the gap between us. "I thought I taught him better is all". _Now's my chance. _Dave is seething. A smile crossing my face is just enough to push him over the edge, "I'm gunna enjoy this" he says as her raises his fist to swing. Too bad I saw it coming, blocking his fist with my right and slugging him dead in the gut with my left. He drops to the floor bringing his head down on my knee. _Down for the count._ Azimios big ass didn't even have time to react; I'm already booking it to the ally when he reaches Karofsky.

"Go after her, you idiot!" Dave chokes out.

I'm coming to the end of the ally, shooting out like A fuckin' rocket just to have my flame blown out by someone crashing into me.

_Oh great, I'm so dead, I'm so dead. Great thinking Santana. Oh yeah no one is gunna come after you, your an idiot._

"Are you ok?" a soft voice breathes.

I slowly open my eyes. There standing over me is the most beautiful pair of crystal blue eyes I've ever had the pleasure of looking into.

"Looks like you found a friend" I tear away from the deep blues hopping up from the ground in record time not even checking to see how close Azimio is. I Grab this Girls hand Pulling her off the ground "Please follow me" I whisper looking up into her eyes. She studies me for a moment and then nods her approval. We take off down the dark abandoned street with Azimio hot on our tail. Looking for a way to escape, stores closed houses asleep. The block is coming to an end up ahead I make a sharp left and then another left into an ally, pushing my partner in crime against the wall covering her mouth with my left hand pulling my right finger up to my own "Shhh" she nods. As we're standing there I finally get to really look at her, and man is she beautiful. She has wild blonde hair falling across her face, chest heaving from running, legs that go for miles. Footsteps hitting pavement break me from my leering. "Damn that bitch is fast" Azimio huffs out. I smirk, turning back to blue eyes only to find them already staring back. I'm practically flush against her. Slowly removing my hand from her mouth, "Hi" she whispers.

"Hey" I smile.

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So what'd ya think ya? nay? Should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

Okay can I just say I feel like a ROCK STAR and I only got one review! THANKS! this is really just a filler chapter but enjoy...

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Chapter 2: So Smooth

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"Hi" she whispers.

"Hey" I smile.

"I think they're gone", the light in the alley is dim but it shows just enough to see golden locks that neatly wrap up with a butterfly pin. Lips with red lipstick, and eyes as crystal blue as the ocean. I slowly back away from her and I'm surprised at what I see. She has a white long sleeve button up shirt with a black vest and a black skirt with fish net stockings that show off her tall long dashing legs. Seductive. _I am highly turned on_.

"What was all that about?" her voice is reminiscent of an angel, so soft and full of innocence. For some strange reason I'm tongue tied, I don't know how to simply say _"oh just some punk trying to kill me on my brothers orders"._ It felt like minutes and minutes are passing before I finally speak.  
"You smell li...like smoke". _That's it, that's all that you could think to say. Wow, you definitely scared her off, now she's gonna think you got some weird fetish because your over there sniffing her like some fuckin' dog._ She softly giggles as she responds. "Oh I don't smoke. Well I do breathe in other peoples smoke so I guess technically I kinda do", A small smile spreads across my face.

"I work at the bar over on 15th street The Black Lagoon".

"The Black Lagoon?" I repeated.

"I _know_ doesn't the name sound like some place right out of a horror movie?" she smiles. "But it's really not that bad its nice inside. Well as nice as it can get for being a bar and all". She giggled once more. _15th street?, how have I never ran into her before? _I think scratching my neck.

"I've honestly never been, is it new?"

"Yeah it's no more than like 6 months old, my dad and I moved out here from California to open it up". She gently took the butterfly pin out of her hair and as she did so her golden locks fall down her shoulders. She begins to run her finger through her hair and it all seems to happen in slow motion. I shake my head. _What the hell is wrong with you she's just a woman? You've seen plenty of them before so get it together.  
_

"You're staring" she winks.

I quickly look down, blushing. _Oh shit._

She giggles "You're cute".

_Oh god, help me. _"We should uhm….we should get going now, you know before they come back?" I say looking up.

She nods "okay".

"Okay" I say as I start to walk out of the ally with her following closely behind.

"Umm is there somewhere I can walk you?

"Well I don't really want to go home just yet" she says coming up beside me. "We can just go to the bar my friend Quinn should be getting off soon, and I can stay with her".

I look at her and nod "Okay".

"Will I be safe?" she asks.

_Will she be safe? _"Yeah" _I'll keep you safe._

She smiles "Okay".

Smiling I ask "So what's your name anyway?"

She laughs "Brittany. And you?"

"Santana" I chuckle.

"Santana...I like it!" she grins.

"Thanks". Somehow I feel strangely attached to her and I barely even know anything about her. All I know is that I can't bring her into my shit. Safe is exactly what she's gonna be and that's how it has to stay.

15th street isn't that far at all unless I really haven't been paying attention, my guess is the latter, because i see it coming up at the end of the block. People all lined up outside, you'd think it was some hot spot club. _Maybe Pucks heard about it, because I sure haven't. _Then I suddenly remember why I'm out here to begin with.

"Hey are you okay?" she says genuinely concerned. It's a nice change from all the bullshit.

I smile sadly "Yeah, just thinking". Her blue eyes studying me, but before she can say anything….

"Hey bitch! I thought you were off already?" someone yells.

We both look up, kind of shocked. "My friend Quinn, don't mind her" she whispers, pointing to a girl right outside the bar, she's got short bright pink hair wearing a white off the shoulder shirt under a black leather jacket with tight jeans holes on the knee and black combat boots.

_Not bad Spitfire._

"Yeah just waiting for you hoe!" I laugh. She smiles down at me, I nudge her.

"Well I better go, she tends to get impatient". She says looking over at her.

"Well HURRY UP, I'm ready to go!"

"I see what you mean" I chuckle.

"Yeah I really better go, will I see you around?"

"I don't know if that's such a good idea?" i say, scuffing my boot across the street.

"Oh okay" she says pouting. _Oh god, please don't make that face._

"Maybe I'll stop by the bar sometime? _Look what you've gone and done what happened to 'Safe is exactly what she's gonna be' huh? _

_Aww shut up you saw her face!_

"Really?" she perks up smiling.

"Yeah sure."

_Yeah total badass for sure._

Next thing I know my feet are off the ground with her arms raped tight around me. "Great!" she squeaks, slowly setting me down. "See you later then _Santana_" _is she flirting? _She Winks_ Oh she is so flirting! _

"uhh…..ye…yeah, yeah" she giggles

"Bye" she says walking towards _Quinn_?

"Bye"

_Sooooo Smooth Santana really racking em in!_

_Ahh shut up!_

"Now I gotta see somebody about catching a squirrel, and I know just the person".


	3. Chapter 3

Hey Guys! I hope you like this chapter! My soon to be Beta Cactusgirl329 ( Author of Sirens and Lord Tubbington: Private Eye - Awesome stories by the way!) and I Work pretty great together so you can thank her for getting this chapter in tip top shape haha!

with out further ado a present...

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Chapter 3: Screwed!

Walking to 'cedes house is a bitch, but there's no way in hell Im'ma chance Karofsky waiting for me to pick up my bitchin' ride. _No sir! _Although Miss Lizzy must be missing me terribly (_if you're wondering, yes I did name my car. Sue me!)_

15th Street all the way to West 47th Street, I guess that's not far but I'm tired, fuck off. At least I'm not drunk, because I have made that walk on several occasions. Not fun.

A phone call breaks me out of my stupor. Speaking of Mama Odie herself…..

Using my best operator voice, "Sorry Donut-Man is closed at the moment, come back in the morning with all the other fat fucks, our hour's are…."

But before I can finish….

"_AHH HELL TO THE NO_!" The voice on the other line cuts me off. I snicker, "_Imma beat your ass when you get here JLO_".

"Hold up, how'd you know I was comin' over?" I question.

"_Look girl, word on the street Pucks got a hit out on his big sis_".

"Aw shit". I say shaking my head.

"_Where are you_?" I hear her ask.

"Be there in ten. I'm two blocks away be ready" I hang up.

I exhale a breath of relief when I finally turn onto 'cedes street. You gotta love the smell of that nasty ass Mediterranean restaurant right next to her building. Makes me gag every time I venture here drunk, but the coffee shop across the street keeps the bile at bay.

"Ugh so gross" I whisper under my breath.

"Hey hot momma" I turn around, reaching for my pistol; eyes meeting with some fat grease fuck stumbling towards me.

"What's a pretty thang like you doing out all alone at this hour?" he slurs, _must be drunk._

"Oh" I give my best 'lost-in-a-big-city' voice "I was just walking around hoping for a complete drunk to come find me," I say, dropping the act "so I could fuck him up" I slip my piece out from my back "guess it's your lucky day" _I don't have time for this shit._

"Oh….oh I didn't mean no harm" he says, stumbling backwards. I wave the gun motioning him to run, which he does to his best ability.

Shaking my head "Was that really the best way to handle that?" I turn around, putting my piece back in place.

"Yeah 'cedes it was" she smiles.

"Come on, _hot momma_" she chuckles.

"Ah fuck you Mercedes" I shove her, making her full-on laugh.

"Would you really have shot him?" she asks, already knowing the answer.

I smile "No".

We walk into her building. It's quit dim in the lobby but I guess it should be seeing as its darn near three o'clock in the morning.

Mercedes hits the button to the elevator, both quiet as we wait for the doors to ding open. As they do, we walk in and 'cedes hits nine enclosing us in the steel death trap. "San…" I feel her look at me.

"Can we just wait, please?" I ask.

"Okay" she breathes out.

As we walk through the door I make my way to the couch, feeling a sense of calm rush over me that I've been without all night.

"Okay," Mercedes say as she comes to sit next to me "so tell me what's going on?"

"Well 'cedes" I begin, scratching my neck before I launch into the events that occurred earlier on this night.

* * *

_9:30 Pm, December 09/2009_

_"Shit Puck, how many times do I gotta tell you to shut your trap!" I hiss._

_"Well damn San, how long we gonna sit here?" Puck whines._

_I shake my head, we ran through the plan 100 times now, it's simple; go to the docks find Schuester. Steel the dough and then go home, easy._

_"Until we spot Schuester!" I shove him, making him fall on his ass "Fuck, if I knew you were gonna be this unpleasant I would have taken Mike instead" I say, shaking my head._

_"Fuck San" he gets up brushing his clothes off "why you gotta be a bitch all the time" I look at him raising my eyebrows "what I'm just speaking the truth" he blurts out._

_I shake my head "just be quiet will yah"._

_We've been here hiding behind some crates, by the docks waiting for grease fairy to show up for about two hours now. It smells like fish and shit mixed with whatever cologne Pucks wearing, I'm getting more pissed by the minute. 'If this shit doesn't hurry up Im'ma go all Aunty Snix on Puck and this whole damn dock!'_

_Suddenly I see Shue make his way across the docks with one pretty built looking Henchman walking beside him. _

_"San can't we ju.." I elbow him in the gut._

_"Shhh," I point "look". Shuester in the flesh, looking as stylish as an old dying librarian on his death bed, with his ugly passed down from centuries old sweater that's been lost its color and some khaki pants with white shitty old people shoes. "ugh what is he wearing?" I hear Puck snicker. _

_"Come on we gotta move". I motion Puck to follow._

_As we make our way out from the crates slowly closing the space between Shue and ourselves, I start to get a bad feeling but quickly shake it off._

_"Not so fast Shuester, you know you really should be more careful with your leering". Puck and my gun already drawn. Slowly Shue and his failed-to-keep-him-safe buddy turn around. _

_"Ah Santana… I should have known" I nod and smirk in response._

_"You know the drill Shue, hand it over and we wont kill you" Puck says._

_"You know I can't do that Puck"_

_"Oh is that right," I say, closing the distance "let me give you a lesson into the way that we work, you give us the money and we won't kill you. Or you don't give us the money and we kill you and take it anyway"._

_"Not this time San" I hear from behind me._

_I turn around slowly, what I'm met with instantly breaks my heart. Pucks got his gun trained on me, "what are you doing Puck?" I hear Shuester laugh from behind me. "What do you think he's doing?"_

_"I'm switching to the winning side, San" I tilt my head in confusion. _

_"What the hell are you talking about Noah, I'm your sister," I try to reason "What are you gonna do, shoot me?"_

_"That's exactly what he's gonna do, right Puck" Shuester instigates._

_My gun still aimed at Shuester but looking at Puck I make the decision to act first. I quickly pull the trigger successfully shooting Schuester in the knee making him drop to the floor yelling in pain. Before Puck can pull the trigger I quickly grab his arm forcing him to shoot Shues bodyguard. _

_Dead. _

_Then I twist said arm and Puck drops to his knees and his face quickly meets my elbow. Knocking him out cold._

_I quickly turn around taking in the scene. Somewhere along the scuffle Shuester must have passed out from the pain. Shue's Body guard lay beside him left cold and drained of life. Finally my eyes land on Puck crumbled on the floor bleeding from his head. I'm fast to pick up what we…I came for and retreat to the comfort of my ride Miss Lizzy who is safely waiting for me just beyond the crates. Driving off I feel a sense of dread at what's to come._

* * *

As soon as I finish retailing Mercedes what happened its dreary quiet.

"San," Mercedes breaths, slowly reaching for my hand. I look up, tears in my eyes "what's our next move?"

"I truly don't know," I sigh "I can't kill my own brother 'cedes, I can't" I say in a state of denial, shaking my head.

"San…." She warns, I reluctantly lift my head and lock eyes with her "you know its eventually going to come down to you and him," I snatch my hand from her, pushing off the couch, _this is the last thing I need right now!_ "he's not gonna stop until he kills you San!" she almost yells.

Glaring down at her with my fists clenched tightly shut "you think I don't know that?!" I shout "Damn 'cedes, what you think I'm stupid or something?" I question, sitting down defeated all the anger draining from me, she waits knowing I'm not finished. "Look I just…I just, I gotta know why" I say, finally looking into her eyes "okay?" I ask.

"Okay San…. But when the time comes, will you be able to do what must be done?"

I look away, nodding "If it comes down to that, I will".

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So what'd you think? Drop a line if you got time! ( ha that so rhymed) ok I'll stop...


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay this Chapter took a little bit longer to finish and in truth I got a little stuck ;) BIG thanks to Kelly for helping me out with that! Enjoy...**

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Chapter 4: Circumstances

I'm startled awake by what sounds like metal connecting with the floor, I quickly slip my piece from behind my back aiming it at the intruder.

"Woah, woah…. Santana it's just me" Mercedes blurts out, with her hand up palms facing out in surrender.

"Sorry" I mumble through a yawn, dropping my gun.

I stand up and stretch my sore body while turning around to face Mercedes "What time is it?"

"It's a little after eleven" I nod.

I make my way into the kitchen; eyes set on the pot of coffee.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" I hear 'cedes ask from the table.

"I don't know" I say while reaching into the cabinet for a mug.

"Well you better figure it out, because you can't camp out here for the rest of your life."

"Oh, how nice" I send a smile her way "I love you too, Mercedes."

I pour coffee into my mug and then head over to the table.

"No really I don't know," I say sitting down "I need to talk to Mike, see where he stands."

I take a sip of my coffee, letting the warm liquid sooth my body. Replaying everything that happened last night, when suddenly it hits me….

Brittany.

I put my cup down, "I met a girl"

'cedes squints at me, waiting.

I laugh "Last night".

"Last night?" she asks, slightly confused.

"Yeah, last night" I confirm.

"When?... before you were held at point blank or after?"

"After. Oh and I forgot to tell you about Karofsky and Azimio tryin' to kill me" I say all nonchalant.

"Okay so you met a girl" I nod sipping my coffee as she continues, "and you almost got killed _twice_?"

"Yup, all in a day's work" I say, making her laugh.

"Hey, you think you could drop me off on 10th Street? I gotta pick up Miss Lizzy" I ask, giving my best smile.

"That car of yours?" I nod.

"Yeah girl" she chuckles.

"Cool."

* * *

When we turn onto 10th Street I breathe a sign of relief.

"Damn girl you swear! Come on, did you really think something was gonna happen to your car?"

"Huh? What …. No, shut up!" I say giving her my best scowl.

She starts cracking up, "they'd be a fool to touch that car, shit no one's that stupid".

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That means, you love that car more than you love….. Well anything" a smile slowly spreading across my face knowing what she says is true.

"Yeah well she's the only one I know won't leave me" _especially now._

I look up realizing the car has stopped moving and Miss Lizzy is parked right in front of us.

I move to get out the car but Mercedes stops me "Hey San," I look up at her "you know I'm not going anywhere right? I got your back San…."

I smile, reaching for her hand "I know."

"Alright get out of here" she says pushing me out the door.

I laugh "Okay I'll call you later" I say while getting out of the car.

"Oh don't make plans tonight" I say looking back into the car.

"Why?"

"We're gonna go see about a bar."

* * *

Parking in front of Mike's place got my thinking about how different last night's events would have unfolded had I taken Mike in Puck's place.

I shake my head; I can't afford to think like that. What's done is done. Now we all have to live with the consequences.

I shut off the engine taking a deep breath, trying to ready myself for the unexpected.

_Okay here we go._

I step out of my car, looking around making sure no one is watching me. Feeling satisfied, I make my way into the apartment building. I take the stairs up the three flights that lead to Mike's apartment, as I can't stand the elevator.

Standing in front of Mike's door, I slide my hand to my back gripping my gun.

And just listen.

Closing my eyes, I block out all surroundings. I can hear a TV on, sounds like a basketball game. I hear someone walking across the room heading toward the kitchen, a bag of chips being opened.

Satisfied that Mike's alone I knock on the door. I can hear Mike approach the door, right before the door opens.

He's got his gun aimed right at me "Santana!" he quickly averts his gun pulling be into a tight hug "God I thought you were died" he says pulling back. He raises his hands to the sides of my face checking to see if I'm okay.

"Hey it's okay," he gentle swipes his thumbs over my cheeks wiping away tears I didn't even know where escaping my eyes "Come on, let's get you inside."

* * *

After filling Mike in on everything that happened last night, he told me that he was at the crib with Matt when Karofsky and Azimio busted in yelling about how they where gonna "kill that skinny bitch" when they find me, and that Puck was gonna be mad that I got away.

"After that, I snuck out the back and came straight here," he says "hoping you'd come find me" he smiles.

"I can never leave my best Asian" I joke.

"I'm really glad your okay," he grabs my hand.

"Yeah me too, Mike."

"So what's the plan?" he asks.

"That's just it Mike, I don't know" I stress "I mean if all this Is true and Puck really is trying to kill me, I need to know why? It just doesn't make sense."

"Okay San, so what do you wanna do?"

"I need you to get Azimio and Karofsky" I say, getting up and heading to the door "and when you do, let me know" I open the door turning around one more time to look at him "because when you do we're gonna make damn sure those bastards talk".

* * *

"You know San, when you said we were gonna go to a bar" Mercedes begins "I didn't think it was 'cause you wanted to check on some girl" she bites.

"Brittany, 'cedes her name is Brittany" I state.

"Ugh this is so not what I expected" she whines.

"Oh come on, I promise it'll be fun" I say elbowing her, making her crack a smile.

We are currently outside the bar looking up at the sign that says "The Black Lagoon". I can hear music coming from the entrance while people are chatting away waiting to be let in by the bouncer.

"San how are we gonna get in, cause I'm definitely not waiting just so you can get your flirt on with some blonde pretty bitch" I glare at her.

"Don't call her that!" I say brushing her off with an "and I got this" I motion for her to follow.

I walk up to the bouncer who looks more like a big clumpy buffoon, a disgrace to all bouncers alike.

I hear Mercedes snicker behind me.

"Uhh can I help you Miss?" he asks.

I smile closing the gap between us so I'm completely flush against him, I reach up and drag my finger along his jaw "why yes you can" I say seductively while dragging my fingers down his chest making him shudder "I was wondering if you'd let my friend" I say gesturing to Mercedes behind me, bringing his face down just mere inches from mine "and I into the bar" looking up from under my lashes.

"Uhmm" he clears his throat "ye..yeah sure" he steps to the side letting us enter.

"Thanks" I call back as I sashay past him into the club.

"Holy shit San" Mercedes laughs "what the hell" I look at her smiling "damn, you know how to work it" she says while snapping her fingers side to side making me laugh.

"What can I say, I'm hot shit."

"Yeah you are" she laughs.

Looking around, this place definitely looks more like a club than a bar. There's a big ass dance floor complete with flashing lights and people meshing together to the pulsing music coming from the DJ. And on the left is the, I have to say, the most crazy sick pimped out bar I've ever seen in my life, it looks to be shaped like a peace sign but the lines that would make up the center are replaced by a big white wall of every drink you could ever think to imagine lined on color changing shelf's that stack up to the top of the ceiling, how you get the drinks down I don't know, and then the bar tenders are stationed around the wall of Awesomeness tending to the crowds of people anxiously awaiting their drinks.

"Holly shit" I blurt out.

"What the hell" I hear Mercedes say from somewhere beside me.

"I mean…..what," I'm completely baffled. I mean when Brittany said it was a bar I was thinking something super simple like every other bar in New York, filled with a bunch of drunks, but damn could she be anymore vague.

I feel Mercedes grab my hand dragging me over to the crowded bar.

"Hey" I hear an all too familiar voice say.

Looking down from the booze wall I'm met with those same ocean blues, instantly smiling.

"Brittany" I breathe out, making her smile.

I'm so focused on this Angel in front of me that Mercedes literally elbows me in my ribs effectively breaking me out of my trance.

"Huh? What? Sorry" I look at Mercedes, then back at Brittany when I hear her giggle.

Mercedes clears her throat "Wow," she blurts out "okay um can I just have a Bahama Mama" she directs to Brittany.

"Yeah, sure" she smiles at her before turning around to start making the drink.

"San" Mercedes nudges me.

"What" I whine defensively, turning to look at her.

"You're staring" she states.

"What no I'm….." but before I can finish Brittany comes back with Mercedes drink.

"Here you go" Brittany says.

"Thanks."

Brittany then returns her attention back to me, smiling.

"So what can I get 'cha?" I blush, like full on blush.

"Oh god" Mercedes says. So I swiftly kick Mercedes effectively shutting her up.

"I'm leaving" Mercedes grumbles.

Ignoring her, "tequila please" I say, never breaking eye contact with Brittany.

"mmhm" she looks up at me from under her eye lashes.

_Oh god she'd beautiful._

She, to my displeasure, leaves to get the bottle of tequila.

I turn around searching for Mercedes, and what I come across is quit hilarious.

Mercedes drink in hand; is straight getting her mack on with some big lipped blonde kid.

I start laughing_, well that didn't take long at all. _

"What's so funny?" I turn around meeting curious blues.

"Oh, nothing just," I motion over towards where Mercedes is still sucking face "she thought she wasn't gonna have a good time" I smirk.

"Looks like there with the swirl" she smiles, I burst out laughing.

"Yeah I guess so" I chuckle.

"Here you go" she says scooting the shot of tequila towards me.

"Thanks" I say right after I knock it back.

But before she can say anything back.

"Hey are you just gonna sit there flirting with her all night? Or are you gonna help out other paying customers too?" some ass hat says from my right.

I slam my shot glass down, glaring at the man effectively shutting him up.

"I better get back to work" she whispers leaning towards me across the counter quickly kissing my cheek "thanks San."

I flush "ye… yeah sure".

With that she walks away, leaving me speechless.

* * *

**If you can, drop a line show me some love ;) I'll try and post chapter 5 as soon as i can **

**Peace Love & French Fries**

**-Ash**


	5. Chapter 5

Okay guys here is Chapter 5 its much longer then usual but yeah whatever.

TRIGGER SCENE

There's a torture seen so if you hate violence or any kind of bodily harm just skip the second half of the chapter.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 5: Questions**

"I better get back to work" she whispers leaning towards me across the counter quickly kissing my cheek "thanks, San."

I flush "ye… yeah sure".

With that she walks away, leaving me speechless.

After starring at Britt's backside for god knows how long I feel my phone start to vibrate in my pocket. I fetch it out and look at the screen.

It's Mike.

"Lopez" I answer.

"I got them, meet me at the garage in 20" is all he says before the line goes dead.

I stare at the phone in my hands, _he found Azimio and Karofsky that fast, huh _I think as I put my phone away.

I'm about to get up when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and I come face to face with a disgusting looking man.

Glaring.

"uhm hey I was wondering if…."

"Look I'm gonna stop you right there," I say putting my hand up "first off, you're not my type and secondly you smell like you just woke up and rolled out of the gutter you call home, now get out of my face afores I endz you" I hiss.

People are starting to stare after hearing my little outburst. The man just stands there looking rather pissed to say the least; he goes to take a step closer….

"Ah Ah Ah," I warn, but he doesn't listen.

He starts to raise his hand, palm out at the ready.

_Wrong choice, Mister._

But before his hand can connect with my face I grab his balls making him yell out in pain as he falls to his knees rendering him speechless, "Now you have two choices, you stay and I crack one of your balls right or left that's your choice." I squeeze his balls making him grunt in pain, "Or you can leave and live to be a slimy waste of space douche bag another day?"

He opens his mouth to answer but nothing comes out. I lean forward "What's that?"

"I said, okay" he wheezes out.

I release my hold on his goods, turning around to grab my drink, but before I can I am met with eyes I could look at for the rest of my life. Brittany's just standing there awe struck; I smile and grab my drink, turning around to get up. Dick head is still kneeling on the floor clutching his balls.

_Worthless piece of shit_.

I push him to the floor for good measure as I walk past. Chancing one last look over my shoulder I meet Brittany's eyes; I smirk and send a wink her way before disappearing into the crowd in search of Mercedes.

* * *

I've been looking for Mercedes for a good 10 minutes with no luck, Mike's just gonna have to wait because I can't find this fat hoe anywhere.

I've checked this club or bar or whatever the fuck you wanna call it about 5 times with no luck. I make my way to the bathroom since it's the only place I haven't checked.

I walk over to the sink and run my hands under the cold water.

You should leave her.

_No I can't. _

But this is important.

_Ugh I know…._

To my disgust I hear, and god I hope I'm wrong, moans, moans that sound a lot like one Mercedes Jones.

_Ugh gross._

I quietly make my way over to the handy cap stall and sure enough there's trouty mouth exploring Mercedes chest like a dog in heat. They don't even have the decency to lock the door.

"Real classy 'cedes" I put my back to the stall arms crossed foot hiked up.

I hear shuffling as they quickly put their clothes back on. Then a very flushed Mercedes makes her way out of the stall looking dishevel as all hell.

She looks up at me shameless "What?"

I burst out laughing no longer able to hold it in, "come on skank" I shake my head.

We walk back into the club, making our way through the crowd heading towards the exit.

"Where are we going" Mercedes inquires.

I lean into her "I got business to take care of, I'm taking you home".

She stops and looks at me, "What? No I wanna come, San"

"Not this time 'cedes" I say trying to convey just how unpleasant this "Business" will be.

Mercedes study's my face for a moment "why?"

"Because what I have to do won't be pleasant 'cedes"

I watch recognition wash over her face "oh".

"San," she pauses and really looks at me "when you're done, come home this time okay?" she asks because when I do a job like the one tonight I usually go MIA for a few days to get my thoughts together.

I smile sadly "I will."

"Okay."

"Thank you."

I place my hand on her back motioning to the exit. Right as we are about to walk out I feel someone tug on my arm.

I exhale, ready for anything.

I turn around and my breath catches.

"You weren't gonna say goodbye?"Brittany says hurt.

I frown "oh I didn't… I mean… I" I stutter.

"I'll meet you at the car" Mercedes says.

I nod and watch her walk away.

Once Mercedes is out of sight I turn back to Brittany, she's looking down at her shoes looking sad as all hell.

I take a step towards her and boldly reach for her face slowly lifting her chin up until she finally meets my eyes.

_Beautiful_.

I smile "I'm sorry".

I move my hand to cradle her cheek and watch as her eyes flutter close as she gives into the comfort I provide and leans into my hand.

_The things she does to me._

She slowly opens her eyes "Okay" she whispers.

I remove my hand and take a step back.

"I have to go, but if you need anything please call me" I say while taking out the receipt from the drinks I bought earlier and grabbing the pen behind Britt's ear to write my number down then hand it to her.

"Okay San" she takes it and to my pleasure smiles.

"Promise?" I smile.

"Promise" she giggles.

"Okay I gotta go" I grab her hand "bye" I whisper, with a sad smile.

"Bye" she squeezes my hand and then turns to leave, but waits to release my fingers until the last possible second.

* * *

After dropping Mercedes off, I quickly change into a leather jacket over a simple white shirt with jeans. I head over to "The Garage" which is really just a little abandoned shake over by the pier. We like to use it as a place to take people that need to be "dealt with".

When I finally pull up to the pitch black structure I cut the engine and try to mentally prepare myself for what the next few hours will surely inflict on my conscience. After a few minutes I watch as a dark figure makes their way out towards my car. As the figure nears closer it slowly turns into Mike.

He walks up and opens my door helping me out.

"It's about time San, taking your sweet time?" he jokes.

"Watch it" I warn.

"Sorry, but you know how much this place gives me the creeps" he whispers.

"Yeah sorry" I chuckle.

"So what held you up anyway?"

"Oh I had to track down 'cedes, bitch was getting it in, and in a public restroom no less".

"Nice" he chuckles.

Silence passes between us as we remember why we're here, and the dread of what's soon to come next.

"You ready for this?" he asks.

"As ready as I can be."

"Let's get this over with" he says as we make our way inside.

* * *

When I walk through the door the first thing to greet me, is the stench of blood and sweet that's collected over time from previous occupants.

A dimly lit room with 4 walls of concrete that holds and inflicts so much pain for everyone involved.

A room I'm all too familiar with.

I look up and meet the unconscious bodies of Azimio and Karofsky. They're hanging a few inches from the ground, with their hands and feet cuffed to chains that are dead bolted to the ceiling.

I make my way over to Karofsky and grab his chin "I hope you're ready for this" I say as I bring my hand up and bluntly connect it with his face.

He startles awake "Wh..what….what is going on" he jerks the chains "where am I".

"Come now, Karofsky" I shake my head "you of all people should know where you are".

He blinks under the dim light desperately waiting for his eyes to focus in on the direction of my voice.

"San?" he asks.

"David."

After the initial shock of his situation I watch as anger washes over his face in full force.

"San" he warns "get me down now".

I look at him in disbelief "are you fuckin' kidding me Karofsky?" I close the distance between us "I'm the boss here" I grab his chin "always have been and always will be" he grits his teeth.

"Fuck you Santana, you're not getting shit out of me".

"Oh you'll talk and if you don't," I motion beside him "Azimio sure will".

"Mike" I call out.

Mike quickly walks in with some cloth that he skillfully wraps around my knuckles.

"Wake him up" I motion to Azimio.

I quickly shrug my jacket off and hang it on the back of the lone chair that occupies this room.

I crack my knuckles and neck preparing myself for the long night ahead.

"Last chance" I state.

"Fuck you Lopez" Karofsky spits on the ground.

"I thought you might say that".

Mike and I lock eyes and an unspoken understanding passes through us as we quickly turn back to our captures and simultaneously connect our fists to flesh.

* * *

It's been three hours, three hours of fists connecting with flesh along with crow bars and bats breaking ribs and still there's nothing to show for it.

They simply won't talk.

Mike and I are exhausted; we need to change our game plan because this simply isn't working.

Waterboarding.

"Enough" I say over my shoulder as I walk out the room.

Mike quickly follows and I wait for him to close the door before I speak.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Mike…" I hesitate knowing he's not gonna like what I'm about to say. Shit I don't even like what I'm about to say. This is not something I like doing, inflicting pain on others, but it comes with the job. We need answers and this is the only way to get them.

"Mike we've tried everything" I state "from us pounding flesh to crow bars and bats" I whisper "nothing's working".

I give him a mournful look "I think maybe we should waterboard them".

I watch his expression change from confusion to unexpected horror at what I'm implying.

"No San" he pleads "you remember," he chokes out "you remember what happened last time" his eyes begging me to change my mind.

"Please don't make me do this" he begs.

I wince at the hurt reflecting in his eyes, last time we did this a young man died though he wasn't a good man and probably deserved to die, he didn't deserve to die like that. I try not to kill unless absolutely necessary and after that day something changed in Mike and I swore we'd never do it again.

But today it has to be done. I need to know why Puck is helping Schuester. Why was he so willing to kill me? If I have to kill my own brother I need to know the whole story, from the moment he decided to switch sides to what he plans on doing next.

"Mike…. You don't have to do this I'd never make you do that again" I look away unable to meet his eyes any longer "just help me untie one of them and bring them down" I plead "and I'll do the rest".

There's a silence that passes before Mike finally speaks.

"No, we started this together and we'll end this together".

* * *

After some conversation and debate, we agree it's best to use Azimio because he is most likely to crack before Karofsky. We walk back into the room and quickly release Azimio's limp body from its restraints only to replace them with new ones as we strap him down across a forgotten desk effectively immobilizing him.

"Let's wake him up" Mike says as he reaches forward and harshly slaps Azimio's face making him startle awake.

"Wh…what the hell is this" he starts to panic.

"Look Azimio, I'm tired, Mike's tired and I want to go home" I state "aren't you tired?"

"Just tell me why Puck betrayed me and what his plan is" I pause "and we can go, we can all go home" I promise.

"Fuck you Lopez" Azimio seethes.

"Then I'm sorry we have to do this"

I pick up a damp rag and cover both Azimio's nose and mouth, then I look up at Mike telling him I'm ready and he nods in response right before grabbing a bucket of water and slowly pouring it over Azimio's air ways affectively creating a drowning affect. Azimio tries to struggle against the restraints yelling and fighting for air he desperately needs.

Mike lets up after about 20 seconds. He lets Azimio breathe unimpeded for three full breaths before continuing his ministrations. We continue this pattern for about ten minutes before he finally cracks.

"Okay, Okay" he chokes out, gasping for air "What do you want to know?"

"Shut the fuck up Azimio!" Karofsky yells "If you talk you're as good as dead anyway!"

I swiftly slip my piece out and pistol whip Karofsky across the face; knocking him out cold.

"Now where were we?" I say.

"What's Puck's Plan?" Mike asks dejectedly.


	6. Chapter 6

******Alright guys sorry it took a little longer to update, but I had to take a step back and figure out what I wanted to happen next. And I think I've been successful. That's not to say that I wont get stuck or lost and confused again,but that's why I have Kelly! So just be patient with me and show us some love!**

**On with it!**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Answers**

"What's Puck's Plan?" Mike asks dejectedly already fearing that his prisoner didn't know the answer.

Azimio sighs defeated.

"I honestly don't know" he begins "and to be honest I don't think Puck knows either"

"Okay, but why would Puck want to work with Schuester? He's just a middle man, right?" I ask.

"Shuester's working with Sue" Azimio says.

"What?" Mike and I shout.

"Yeah, when Puck found out, he set a meeting with Shue to get you out of the picture."

"Oh my god" I exhale, running my fingers through my hair.

"It makes sense" Mike says from beside me.

"I should have killed Shuester when I had the chance, that fuckin' pest" I growl, pacing back and forth.

If Shuester and Sue are working together that can only mean one thing, they want full control of the city but why? What's changed? And where does Puck come in?

They must have thought it would be so easy to get me out of the way. Setting up that money transfer at the docks knowing I'd go after it. I confided in Puck and all the while he was meeting up with Shue to tell him my plans. It was a trap they set for the sole purpose of killing me. But what does Puck get out of this? How can he possibly come out unscathed? They will kill him. Or they probably knew he'd fail in killing me and hoped I'd be so hell bent on revenge I'd kill him for them.

"Is that all he told you?" Mike asks.

"Yeah" he looks up at me, pleading "I swear, San".

"Alright Azimio, you got till sun up to get your shit together and get out of town" I warn "because if you don't" I pause, for a dramatic effect "I'll kill you".

"I swear it" Azimio promises.

"Cut him loose" I tell Mike.

"What about Karofsky?"

"We'll let Puck deal with him" I state.

* * *

I walk outside of the shack and make my way to my car

"Shit is so fucked Miss Lizzy" I say as I sit on her hood, reaching for my pack of cigarettes. I slip one out bringing it to my lips and light it.

I sigh as the smoke pours into my lungs slowly washing away the stress that's built up from the night's events.

"San" Mike makes his way over to me.

"Hmm"I exhale and watch the smoke float out of my mouth and disappear into the night. How easy it would be to just float away and leave everything behind. No worries or responsibilities.

_Must be nice._

"Are you gonna be alright by yourself?" Mike asks.

"Huh?" I look up at him, inhaling the smooth tobacco one more time before flicking the cigarette to ground.

"You gonna be okay while I go dump Karofsky?"

"Oh yeah I'm fine….think I'll crash at 'cedes tonight" I scuff my shoe across the gravel beneath my feet.

He studies me, searching to see if I'll really be okay. He must have found his answer. After a second passes, he closes the gap between us pulling me into a hug.

I sigh, sinking into him and letting his comfort wash over me.

"We're gonna be okay San" he whispers into my hair.

"I hope so"

* * *

On my way to Mercedes house, I can't seem to get a hold of my thoughts. They are all over the place. None stay long enough for me to make any sense before another memory enters the fore front of my mind. Like a never ending cycle of confusion.

"Fuck" I yell out in frustration, bringing my fist down on the steering wheel.

I reach into my jacket and pull out a smoke and bring it to my lips making a quick grab for my lighter and igniting my temporary release.

Inhale.

Relief enters.

Exhale.

Problems start to dissolve.

I wonder what Brittany's doing right now? She should be home by now. I know when I gave her my number I told her it was for emergencies, but if I'm being honest, she could call for something as small as a broken finger nail and I'd come running.

If I'm being honest, that is.

There's just something about Brittany, she makes me want to be around her like all the time. I mean she's hot yeah, but it's more than that. She does something to me, to my body. Something that's never happened before. I have to find some kind of reason to see her again. I can't just keep stalking her work place, that's weird.

I'm about two blocks away when I get this eerie feeling in my chest. Something's not right, it's too quiet.

That's when I hear it.

A scream, more importantly a voice, a voice that sounds a little too familiar for comfort.

I park my car on the side of the road and hop out. I start to head in the direction that I heard her last. I'm almost positive that it's her.

God I hope I'm wrong.

I slow, at the sound of voices coming from the alley up ahead.

"Just give us your money and we won't hurt you" a gruff voice says.

I carefully peak behind the wall into the alley.

I was right.

"Please let me go, I've already given you all I have" Brittany's voice come out cracked and shaken, tears streaming down her checks. She looks so afraid

I grit my teeth and clench my fists. _This is bullshit._

There are two guys in the alley way with Britt, and they got her cornered against the wall. One of the men is tall and unhealthily skinny. No doubt he's robbing Britt for his next fix. The other guy might be more of a problem. About six feet tall with more muscle than fat, but what I'm most worried about is that gun sticking out in the back of his shirt.

"Well" buff guy closes the gap between him and Britt "Guess I'll just have to take something else then" he leans in and brushes Brittany's hair behind her ear "Don't be scared," he starts to unbutton his pants "I'll be gentle" she whimpers.

That's quite enough.

I rush into the alley, slipping my gun out and I bring the butt of it down on druggy's head knocking him out. Then I turn to the other guy and bring my gun up under his chin.

"And just what the fuck do you think you're doing?" I inquire.

"Oh shit" he spits out "Lopez? I thought you were dead"

"You think that's reason enough to be up in my turf? Tryna rape _random_ women?" I can feel Brittany's eyes on me, but restrain from looking. The last thing I need is for this guy to figure out that Brittany isn't just a random girl to me, and have her get caught up in my mess because word got out that she knows me.

"N-n-no" he mutters out.

"If I ever catch you around here again" I begin, closing the gap between until we're eye to eye "I can guarantee you, you won't be walking away" I press my gun deep into his skin "Got it?"

"Yeah I got it" he grumbles out.

"Don't move" I warn, keeping our eyes locked as I bring my right hand behind his back and retrieve his gun "Now get him" I motion to the guy still passed out on the floor "and get the fuck outta here".

I keep my gun on him as he slowly backs away to get his friend and drag him out of the alley. Once they're out of sight I lower my gun and drop my shoulders.

This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I said I wanted to see Brittany again.

I take a breath mentally preparing myself to look at her. I hesitantly turn my head her way. When we lock eyes it's hard to tell what's running through her mind, her blues so cloudy.

"Look Britt I-" but before I can finish I'm being pinned against the wall with Brittany's body pressed against mine. "Just shut up" I shiver as she whispers her words across my lips. I nod closing my eyes barely able to breathe. "Kiss me" I whisper, wanting nothing more than for her to close the gap.

She reaches up and cradles my face. Her thumb brushes across my cheek waiting. I slowly open my eyes and instantly get lost in blue.

"Okay" she breathes out as she leans forward. The touch of her lips against mine leaves me breathless. I bring my arms up and wrap them around her waist and pull her into me. I hear her sigh as she falls. I part my lips trailing my tongue across her bottom lip. I feel her shudder against me as she opens her mouth and lets my tongue massage hers. I moan as she pulls back and drags her tongue across my lips taking my bottom in between hers and releasing it with a wet pop.

My eyes flutter open in a daze. When I look up into her eyes, they're filled with such adoration and trust, my heart beats erratically.

She leans forward and rests her forehead against mine "What have I gotten myself into" she breaths out.

* * *

**BAM!**

**Alright guys so what do you think? Good? Bad?**

**Any ideas on what might happen next?**


	7. Chapter 7

******Happy Holidays Yall! **

**I have to say one my favorite Christmas song's is Celebrate me Home by Kenny Rogers LOVE IT!**

**If I where to say to you that I'm a stranger traveling from the east seeking that which is lost... (If you can finish this sentence I'll... IDK kiss you?)**

**Alrighty! So here's Chapter 7 in all its glory...**

* * *

**Chapter 7: The Build of Trust pt 1.**

She leans forward and rests her forehead against mine "What have I gotten myself into" she breaths out.

* * *

_Shit._

I ease her away desperately needing room to breathe. This isn't good. I can't very well bring Brittany into my mess. She's gonna want some kind of explanation of everything that just went down. Like why do I have a gun? Or why that guy was so scared of me? And god knows what else? I reach up fixing my clothes, and run my fingers through my hair.

_This is not good._

"Hey" I hear her speak out.

Okay, okay maybe -and I'm just spit ballin here- I can leave it as I'm a New Yorker and you can never be too safe ergo the gun, and that guy was just scared of me cause I had him at point blank. Yeah that ought to work right?

"San!"

"Huh? Uh what?" I look up, slightly confused.

"I said are you okay?" she asks as she studies my face.

"Oh yeah sorry, I'm fine".

"Where'd you go?" she whispers out soothingly, reaching up to cradle my face. I look up into her eyes and get completely lost in the purity I find there, making me forget about every lie I was gonna spout her way.

I close my eyes accepting her comfort.

"I don't want to lie to you" I admit, looking back into her eyes.

"Then don't" she says, brushing her thumb across my cheek.

"Okay".

* * *

After we finally separated from that needed embrace, I suggested we go back to my house. There, I would do my best to answer all her questions.

We are still sitting in the car. My promise of full disclosure lingering between us, I turn the car off and pull my key out. It had been quiet the whole ride over. Each of us lost in our own thoughts of what might happen next.

"Well….umm okay" I look at her, gathering my thoughts "you ready?" I ask.

She looks over at me "Yeah, yes I'm ready" she says like she's trying to sike herself up.

I chuckle, "Alright, killer".

"Shut up" She nudges me, trying and failing not to smile.

I smile "come on" I say opening my door and gesturing for her to follow.

I watch her nod as she opens her door and climbs out.

* * *

Making our way through the lobby of my apartment, I notice that curious look in Brittany's face. She's wondering why I drive a fully restored 69 GTO Judge and live in such a mediocre building, though she hasn't yet seen inside my apartment.

Living up in the penthouse of my building has its advantages. Although you'd never think anything special was going on inside the building because it blends in with all the others. Making it the last place anyone would think Mob Boss, Santana Lopez lives.

The only down side is the damn elevator I am forced to take to get there. As we make our way inside said death trap I can feel Brittany's eyes on me.

After punching in the code to take us up, I turn and look at her. She's leaning against the wall with her arms crossed smirking at me.

"What?" I ask shyly, slightly jumping when the elevator jerks up.

Her smile spreads into a full on grin. She's looking at me like she just found out Santa's real.

She shrugs "nothing".

I glare at her about to make some sly comment about her Santa loving ass but get interrupted by the elevator opening to reveal my apartment. I watch Brittany's mouth drop at the Sheer awesomeness that is, my home.

The glare on my face transforming into a smug smirk, "Cat got your tongue?"

"Wha- no" she says looking a little flustered.

I chuckle, "Well only if you're sure".

My home is anything but mediocre. The first floor is nothing but open space and dark hard wood floors. In the far corner are two plush couches set in front of an 80 inch screen TV. The rest of the space is filled with ceiling to floor mirrors and one much abused punching bag. Sound system included.

"Come on" I throw over my shoulder as I make my way inside.

"No way" I hear her say from behind me.

I stop and turn around, "What?" I tilt my head to the side studying her features. She's got this look on her face like she's in complete bliss.

"I would give anything to have a room like this. Do you dance?" she asks looking slightly hopeful.

I smile looking down bashful "Sometimes, although I'm not that good, it's more of a stress relief kind of thing for me" I admit.

I hear her take a step, and I look up curious.

"Maybe," she begins closing the gap between us "we could dance together" she says as she presses her body completely flush against mine whispering into my ear "some time?" I close my eyes at the feel of her breath against my ear, slowly nodding, completely falling to her will.

She pulls back with a victorious grin "What? Cat got your tongue?" my jaw drops in disbelief.

She giggles "Kidding" she leans back in quickly pecking my cheek and releasing me "show me around?"

"Uh ye-yeah sure come on" I stutter out while trying to get the pulse between my legs under control.

After showing her the first floor, we head up the stairs where my kitchen is, complete with marble counters, dark wood cabinets and floors with a stainless steel oven and refrigerator.

Then the guest room that's nothing special just the basic essentials. Now my room which is as unattached as the guest room -simply because I hate being alone and much rather crash at 'cedes house- complete with a master bathroom and closet, and a king size bed that I have yet to sleep in as I quite prefer the couch downstairs when I do stay the night.

I watch Brittany from the door as she looks around the room "San, do you even sleep in here?" she asks tentatively.

"Nope" I say as I turn around to head back down stairs.

"Why not?" she asks sounding quite confused.

I look over my shoulder meeting her eyes, "I don't like being alone" with that I turn back around and go down the stairs, leaving Brittany completely flushed and bothered.

* * *

**Drop a line and keep me sane por favor?**

**P.s. I've already started working on Chapter 8 so Hopefully it won't take me long to post up :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:Hey Yall! I hope everyone had an awesome holiday! I know I did :D **

**Have you guys watched Naya sing Silent Night? I mean! Who in the Heavens sings Silent Night like that?! She's a God send!**

**Alright guys here is Chapter 8 I hope you enjoy...**

* * *

**Chapter 8: The Build of Trust pt 2.**

When I make it down stairs, I walk over to the couch to sit and wait for Brittany.

I guess if I were to really think about it, it is a little strange that I have my own place. The way I see it, there's a place for me to go when I need to be alone. It's where I go to take a step back and just be. That's why it's so open and allows me my space to breathe. I don't even keep food in the apartment, and I don't step upstairs unless it's to grab water. The only time I ever spend the night here is after I've completely overworked my body from dancing, or physically abusing my punching bag. Even then I barely make it to the couch before I collapse from exhaustion.

Every other night I crash at 'cedes. I keep my clothes there; I pay rent, buy food and do chores just like a normal roommate. Mercedes insisted that I take the extra room, but I much prefered the couch. Only because if someone were to come looking for me at 'cedes I'd be able to hear them coming and be ready. Or I'd be the first thing they see and hopefully they would just take me and leave without any harm befalling Mercedes.

I love Mercedes, she's like a sister to me and I would do anything to protect her. If there were ever a time where 'cedes no longer felt safe living with me, I would leave without question.

I clear my head from my thoughts and watch as Britt makes her way over. She sits on the other side of the couch and turns her body to face me while crossing her feet underneath her. I turn and mirror her position so we're face to face.

I wait for her to make the first move to give her full control over how this conversation will play out.

I watch as she studies my face. Her hands are fiddling with the bottom of her pants and her forehead is crinkled in concentration like she's trying to solving a really hard math equation.

Her eyes sparkle as she opens her mouth to ask- "What's your favorite color?"

I look at her for a second waiting to see if she's for real, she looks dead serious so I decide to play along.

"Green, what's yours?" I watch as she smiles. Her eyes sparkle in amusement.

"Blue, what's your favorite movie?"

"Breakfast at Tiffany's, yours?"

"Why Breakfast at Tiffany's?" she squints tilting her head in confusion.

"Because Holly Golightly is a person who sees the world for what it is in all its imperfections, never gets her hopes up or expects anything from anyone. She lives the life she wants and doesn't give a damn about what anyone thinks. There's something beautifully tragic about living life the way she does, something I whole heartedly respect." I shrug.

"And plus Audrey Hepburn is-" I breathe out sheepishly "beautiful".

"Aww your cute" Brittany giggles out.

"Shut up" I say, blushing profusely.

"Oh my god, stop" she says laughing.

"I'm not even doing anything" I chuckle out, shaking my head.

"Who knew you could be such a softy?" she says, making fun.

I shrug looking down at my hands.

"I like it" she whispers out.

I slowly bring my eyes back up to hers, she' smiling so soft, "Yeah?"

Her eyes sparkle as she nods "Yeah".

I look down smiling.

"So how long have you lived in New York?" Brittany asks.

"Born and raised" I say proudly, "I love New York! I wouldn't change it for the world. It's the only place that will always let me be myself without passing a single word of judgment.

"You?" I ask

"My dad and I moved here in May and opened the bar in July."

"And where did you guys live before?" I ask curious.

"Ohio" she says, sheepish.

"Oh" I laugh out "No wonder you moved, that's red neck city"

"Have you been?"

"My friend Mercedes used to live out there"

"So how were you able to open up the bar in two months time, that's like really fast?" I would think it takes a lot more time than that to open up a freaking bar like hers.

"We took out a loan" she says, looking away from me, "a loan we unfortunately are still in debt to".

"Well, hey loans always take time to pay off right? It's no big deal" I say, trying to get her to look at me.

"Hey" I try again, moving a little closer to her on the couch. I grab her hand that's resting in her lap, and squeeze "I'm sure you guys will come out on top".

She finally looks up at me "you really think?"

"Of course, don't you see how packed your bar always is? It's like the hot spot" I state, smiling.

"Yeah," she pauses looking up at me "those lines do get pretty crazy long" her lips pulling up into a smile.

"They totally do" I chuckle agreeing.

A comfortable silence passes between us before I realize Brittany's hand is still in mine. I loosen my grip about to pull away when Brittany tightens her hold on mine, bringing her thumb up to brush across my knuckles.

"San," I look up into her eyes "why were those men chasing after you?" Brittany hesitates, but continues "the night we met?"

I take a deep breath, knowing that she'd ask eventually. I'm almost sad to answer because after I do, she might not feel the same about me. She may no longer want to be in my company or God forbid, she be afraid of me.

"I'm not a good person, Brittany" I look down and for the first time, I feel ashamed of the life I lead.

"Hey?" Brittany says, gently cupping my chin "let me be the judge of that," I slowly look up into her eyes reading her face and seeing such sincerity "okay?" she asks.

I nod and breathe out, "okay".

"Alright, why don't you start from the beginning?"

"I'm really just a pawn in the game" I begin.

"New York is divided up into three separate, I guess you could say, territories? And there are three separate people that are in charge of running those territories. The Motto's run the North side, Lopez's run the West side and half of the East, leaving Sylvester to run the other half of East and South side. Lastly Shuester, the middle man, communicates with all three. If any territory has business that needs to transfer through or to a different territory like a money transfer or a shipment coming in, Shuester is the man to call."

I pause to look at Brittany, hoping that she's understanding all that I've said so far. After she nods, I continue, "If ever someone from a different territory were to get caught on someone else's turf uninvited, well let's just say, they won't be coming back." I state.

"And for 50 years it's worked, until now." I say, bitterly. "Until people decided to be greedy, and take what's not theirs" I clench my fists in anger, "showing disrespect, and turning on their own blood" I say raising my voice. "Makes me so fuckin' sick," I trail off.

"San," Brittany says, moving closer, and squeezing my hand just that little bit tighter.

I close my eyes and breathe, "Anyway, now everything's turned to shit, I don't really know where anyone stands" I open my eyes looking at Brittany's baby blues "It's not safe for anyone involved".

"And how involved are you, San?" Brittany asks hesitantly.

"I-" I start, looking down "Brittany, my name is Santana _Lopez, _My dad and I…It's just…I'm...we are in charge of-"

"Oh…" Brittany breathes out.

"I should umm….probably bring you home now" I say pulling my hand back and standing up.

"Yeah maybe you should," I close my eyes feeling my heart sink, "But I don't want you to….."

* * *

**A/N: SOOOOO what'd you think?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: For Better or Worse**

"Yeah maybe you should," I close my eyes feeling my heart sink, "But I don't want you to….."

Eyes still closed, I feel Brittany stand and take hold of my hands. She squeezes them and "San I don't care".

I shake my head refusing to look at her.

"Look at me" Brittany pleads and gently cups my face.

My eyes flutter open and lock with her glacier blues. I study her in the silence, seeing nothing but trust and loyalty. It's utterly astounding to me that she could feel such a thing, for me, someone who could very well be the reason her father is left alone to grieve over the loss of his only daughter. All because I let her get to close.

It makes me sick to my stomach to even think of the guilt that would rest solidly on my shoulders and my shoulders alone.

I shake my head and pull her hands from my face, "No" I take a step back, "I can't do this, and I won't let _you_ do this" I watch Brittany's face crumble.

"San…." She reaches out to me taking a tentative step closer.

"No" I shout, "I refuse to willingly put you in danger" I yell, but as I take a step back, she takes another step forward.

"Brittany, listen to me" I try to reason with her, "This," I say gesturing between us "this isn't smart. You could die. God damn it" I feel my eyes fill with unshed tears.

"I can't do this, not again. Last time I let someone get too close…." I begin to reveal. Tears stain my cheeks.

I choke out a sob "Please…Brittany I can't-"

She closes the gap between us. She wraps me up in her arms, "San" she breaths out.

And with that one word I feel my dam break. I surrender to her, to all of her. I desperately clutch fistfuls of her shirt and cling to everything she offers me. I want nothing more than to keep her near, close, and safe.

"Shh San, I got you" Brittany whispers as she pulls me closer, surrounding me in her warmth as she runs her fingers gently through my hair.

I don't know how long we stand there holding each other. All I do know are the words that Brittany promises as she carefully wipes the tear stains from my cheeks.

It's a promise that will change my world for better or worse.

"I'm not going anywhere San, whatever happens" she cradles my face in her hands and looks through me. She sees all of my faults, imperfections, and fears with clarity "This is as much my decision as it is yours, and I choose to stay".

* * *

I wake up feeling oddly refreshed when usually I wake up feeling like utter shit. My eyes flutter open but quickly snap shut at the harsh rays shinning in from the windows of my apartment.

"Damn" I whine bringing my hands up to cover my face.

_What the hell happened last night? _

I getstartled out of my stupor when a warm breath is exhaled upon my neck. Instantly, I freeze as I feel a hand grip my body closer.

"San" a voice cracks from sleep.

_Brittany_.

I exhale andrelax into her "mmhm, Britt" I say softly as I turn around in her embrace. Her eyes are still closed as I watch a small smile spread across her face.

I run my fingers through her hair. I marvel at in how serene she looks in the sun's light.

"You're beautiful" I whisper out.

Her eyes flutter open and lock with mine, my breath catches.

"San…" she breathes again.

But before she can say or do anything else my phone rings and startles us apart.

"Shit" I hiss and barely save myself from falling off the couch that Brittany and I somehow managed to squeeze onto last night.

I hop up and snatch my phone from the table, seeing it's an incoming call from my father. I look over at Brittany whispering a quick _sorry_ before answering.

"Hola Papi" I say, trying my best to not let anything less than strength filter through the phone.

_"Santana, where have you been?"_ I hear his husky voice scratch my ear.

_Holy shit! I totally forgot to call and tell him everything that's transpired since the last time I saw him._

"Papi, we have much to discuss. I'll be over in ten, si?"

_"Alright, hija"_ I hang up and slip my phone into my pocket.

I close my eyes and run my fingers through my hair and breathe in deep. _It's gonna be a long day. _

I feel a chest press flush against my back as long arms wrap around me.

"Breathe, San" Brittany whispers against my neck.

I sink into her and bring my hands down to twine between hers resting on my stomach, "I have to go" I say, as I lean back and drag my nose up her neck. Her body shutters against me.

"I know" she says breathlessly. She holds my body tighter and drags her fingers across the skin between my shirt and jeans.

I turn around in her arms; "I should take you home now" I speak against her lips and I bring my arms up around her neck.

"Mmhm" Brittany hushes closing the gap pressing her lips against mine**. **

Being in her arms like this with her lips touching mine, makes me feel like I'm seeing the world through rose colored glasses. Like there's not a care in the world. She makes me feel like Santana the person, not Santana the mob boss.

I bring my hands to her neck pulling her closer and deepen the kiss. I part my lips and drag my tongue across her bottom waiting for entrance. I feel her shutter against me as she clings to my shirt and opens her mouth and accepts me in. I moan into her mouth at the feel of her tongue dancing with mine. She makes me feel like my knees are just milliseconds away from giving out. Brittany pulls away licking up my lips and savoring my taste. She releases me and steps back smirking at the speechless state she's just left me in.

"How about that ride" she chuckles and drags her finger across her lips before sucking it into her mouth seductively.

"You're gonna be the death of me" I say breathless.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed!**

**runnergirl419 As promised ;)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Fastest update yet! Awesome ;) **

**Enjoy...**

* * *

**Chapter 10: The Business**

I trade in my normal jeans and white V-neck for the formal attire. I make my way up the steps to my father's house in a form fitting blue blouse and black slacks complete with job interview approved black boots. Papi always says _"we're mob bosses not drug dealers, Tana. We run a business, look the part"._

I'm pretty sure we have drug dealers that are somehow tied to us, and our "Business" but that's the least of my problems.

My father's house always gives me the Godfather feel. It was constructed on private property with walls built high for privacy and to keep away prying eyes. The neighbors have to know or at least suspect that there is shady business tied to the man that lives here. It's asking to be caught and spied on, but I guess that's what all the body guards and cameras are for right?

"Hey James" I greet my old body guard at his post by the front door only to receive a grunt in return. I laugh and pat his shoulder, "still sore at me I see".

James has been a constant and loyal companion for my whole life, he's never been one for talking but he is an excellent listener.

When I moved out at eighteen I asked my father to allow me to live my life without the constant shadow of James at my back. After hours of argument he agreed in exchange for monthly visits home (not work related) and I had to break the news to James myself. He wasn't too happy.

"Well I'm here if you ever want to talk" I joke and watch his lips twitch as he tries to fight off a smile.

"Ha," I reach up on my tip toes and place a chaste kiss to his cheek "Gotcha".

"I'll talk to you later alright?" I ask and receive a nod in return.

I open the door to the house, "God, James, shut up already." I holler over my shoulder "You talk way too much!" I joke and make my way inside.

My good humor is cut short. Being inside this house always gives me a sense of home and dread. I have so many fond memories here, from James chasing me around the house trying to get me to sit and eat my vegetables to staying up at all hours of the day with Papi as he teaches me to defend myself. It all happened here and I'm very grateful for the time spent here.

But the dread is constant.

The dread always comes with business related visits. Coming home now is a chore. I never know what's going to happen; if papi will be pleased or disappointed.

Today I'd say it's safe to assume he'll be nothing less than infuriated or worse completely calm. Past scenarios have always been catastrophic.

My shoes pad across the dark wood of the study and stop directly in front of my father's office door. I close my eyes and bring my fist up to hover inches from the door, I breathe deep and knock. I hear a faint _come in, _and quietly push the door open.

I gracefully walk in and quietly close the door behind me. I take a seat on the plush leather chair opposite my father. The dark oak desk is filled with paper work that, for the moment, claims all his attention. I sit and wait patiently for him to finish, fidgeting with my clothes and brush out wrinkles that aren't there. My anxiety creeps back up. No longer having Brittany here to calm and collect it.

A few minutes pass before my father finally clears his throat and gathers the papers up from the desk and places them in the drawer.

"Santana, sweat heart, how are you?" he coos finally looking up, his eyes lock with mine.

"Good, Papi" I smile and enjoy the calm before the storm.

His eyes crinkle with happiness "Only good me amor? Is Mercedes driving you crazy?"

I snort "Hardly, if anything it's vice versa, papi".

His eyes squint shut with silent laughter "Si, that's probably true".

"Probably" I shrug my shoulders in mischief.

"How is Puck, you're not letting him get into any trouble right?"I grimace and look away.

"Hija, what's wrong?" he asks.

"Papi, when's the last time you talked with him?" I ask racking my eyes over his features making sure he won't be untruthful.

"Why?" he asks, confused.

"Papi, answer my question por favor" I more command than ask.

"What's wrong, Santana?" he frowns.

"Have you spoken with him in the past four days, Papi?" My voice rises with my impatience.

"Do not raise your voice at me Santana" his voice turns ice cold with warning.

"Answer me!" I say as I slam my fist against his desk challenging him.

I grit my teeth in frustration and hold my position. He leans back in his chair contemplating.

I wait.

"No hija, I haven't spoken with him since last month when you both came to dinner." He watches as I visibly relax at his answer and fall back into my chair, "Now tell me what in the hell has you so on edge, Tana".

I bring my hand up and rub my forehead in frustration; "he tried to kill me" I whisper and look up at my father.

"Who?" he waits studying my face; I can see it in his eyes he already knows what I'm going to say but is desperately praying I'm wrong.

"Puck" I say and quickly look away, not wanting to see his face fall at the betrayal of his only son.

"When?" his voice finding perches in a cold bitterness.

"Four nights ago, on the docks" I watch recognition wash over his face that quickly turns into fury.

"Everything was going as planned. Shuester showed up as expected, he had the briefcase, accompanied by one bodyguard" I regale.

"Puck and I snuck up to intercept the package," I stop and look away.

"Finish, Santana" he seethes, his fists clenched white in anger.

"We had Shuester at point blank, he kept saying not this time-" I trail off as I recall the scene.

"Puck was on my flank; my full attention was on Shue and his goon. I told him if he didn't give the briefcase to us we'd kill him and take it anyway. That's when Puck trained his weapon on me, told me "_Not this time San_". That's when everything became a blur. I shot Shue in the leg and killed his bodyguard."

"And what of Puck?" he asks in what feels like shocked disbelief.

"He's alive Papi" I spit out and push off from the desk to stand and start furiously pacing the floor, "How dumb do you think I am? I'm not stupid enough to kill my own fuckin brother without getting the whole story!" I throw my hands up in exasperation.

I watch him stand and quickly approach me. He takes hold of my arms forcing me to stop my frantic pacing. I look up into his aging eyes and I'm shocked to see that he looks afraid, not of me but of what he knows, as I know, what will have to be done.

"Papi! Shuester is working with Sue, this means war. We need to figure out who we can trust and quick. We'll deal with Puck when the time comes, si?"

"Si, hija" he says and pulls me into a comforting embrace and holds me tight.

"Puck will certainly be dealt with" I flinch with the finality in his tone.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Plans**

"_Puck will certainly be dealt with" _

This sentence is the only thing I got out of that meeting with my father. This one sentence replays in my head on a loop as I drive to 'cedes house. I slow to a stop at a red light.

"_Puck will certainly be dealt with" _

"Fuck!" I yell and bring my fists down on the steering wheel repeatedly "God damn it!"

I don't know why this is affecting me so much, I knew what my father would say and I knew that Puck would have to die. But hearing it from my father's mouth makes it final, there's no talking it out or making deals.

You switch sides you die.

Switching sides on family just makes everything ten times more complicated.

"_Puck will certainly be dealt with"_

I breathe deep to steady myself as the light turns green and continue my drive home. All I can do is hope that Puck's ready for the hell that's about to befall him. I can't be there this time to get his ass out of trouble.

* * *

After parking Miss Lizzy, I make my up to 'cedes place in the fucking shit hole of an elevator. God forbid the reason I die is not from a bullet to the head or some other mob related death but from this god damned caged death trap.

"Jesus" I hiss when it jerks to a stop on Mercedes floor and quickly hop out. "Unbelievable" I shake my head and start to walk over to 'cedes door.

Before I can stick my key in, the door busts open. I jump back and reach for my gun only to get engulfed by, "Shit San, you scared the hell out of us" Mike says.

"Where the hell have you been!" Mercedes adds.

"Well, not that I don't love this _sweet_ greeting," I point to 'cedes apartment, "I think we should take this inside".

"Yeah, get your Latin ass inside cause I'm bout to beat it down!" Mercedes states and pushes me through the door.

I look back at her shocked, "Did you just push me?" I ask incredulously.

"Nudge, I nudged you" she states and crosses her arms over her chest.

I brush myself off and glare at her, "What. The. Fuck."

"San you better explain yourself before I beat it out of you" Mercedes warns looking heated as all hell.

I squint in confusion, "Explain what?"

"Umm San," I look over at Mike who's awkwardly standing out of place by the door, "You said you'd come home after we finished with Azimio and Karofsky last night".

Recognition washes over my face, no wonder 'cedes is pissed. She hates when I go missing after a job like last night. After everything that happened with Britt last night, coming back was the last thing on my mind.

"Shit" I whisper out. I bring my hand up to rub the back of my neck sheepishly.

"Shits right San, you should have called!" Mercedes chastises putting her hands on her hips.

"I'm sorry" I look at Mercedes, apologetic.

"San" she deflates and drops her hands from her hips, "Where'd you go?"

"I was on my way home, 'cedes" I say in all honesty.

"Okay, so what happened?"

"I was driving down the street trying to clear my head before I got home; I got this weird feeling so I slowed Miss Lizzy down. Then I heard someone scream. It sounded familiar 'cedes" I say looking back up at her, "so I parked my car and got out to investigate".

"Shit San! It's not safe for you to be out, let alone willingly putting yourself in danger! Trying to _investigate_ like some damn cop! Especially with Puck having a hit out on you!" Mercedes spits out exasperated.

I roll my eyes annoyed, "ugh, you act like I'm some naïve tourist! I run a mob 'cedes, give me a little more credit" I state, feeling _very_ offended.

"Okay guys, I think we're wandering off subject" Mike quickly intervenes.

"Anyway, so I went to _investigate,_" I repeat, smartly "and turns out I was right with my assumption because it was fucking Brittany about to get mugged" I reveal, completely annoyed with the shock that appears on Mercedes face, and make my way over to the couch to plop my ass down.

"Who's Brittany?" I hear Mike ask, still awkwardly standing by the door.

"A girl." I state, moving on, "Anyway I just got back from my father's and we have a lot to discus." I watch Mike straighten up and switch to business mode as he walks over to the couch and sits next to me.

"What'd he say?"

"We need to get to work, find out who we can trust, and fast. I'll contact Sugar to set up a meeting-"

"Not alone, I'm coming" Mike states, daring me to say otherwise.

I huff and roll my eyes, "Right, maybe we can pull together and help protect our turfs, because alone, I don't think we stand a chance. Who knows how long Sue has been planning this" I say rubbing my head, beyond frustrated.

"And, Puck?" Mercedes softly asks finally joining the conversation.

I shake my head and look up trying to keep my emotions under control.

"We better find him before your dad does, especially if you want closure for the inevitable."

"San, are you gonna be okay?" Mercedes asks hesitantly.

I shake my head of the crippling depression that's patiently waiting to consume me and push up from the couch, "Yeah, let's get to work".

* * *

"That son of a bitch!" I scream out as I race down the alley, "Mike, split up, go down Fourth Street and cut that bitch off!" I yell behind me where I can hear Mike's breath leaving his body in quick huffs.

"Be careful San" he heaves out as he turns around and takes off towards Fourth.

_That little bitch Finn is gonna get it when I get my hands on him…_

I yank my gun out and slow to a jog as I turn the corner into another alley. If he thinks he can run from me he's got another thing coming.

* * *

_Five minutes before…_

_Mike and I cross the street and make our way into the local bar, in search of any guys that claim to work for mi papi and me. _

_My eyes quickly find Finn sitting at the bar babysitting a beer. I look at Mike and motion over to Finn, who for his part, still hasn't noticed us._

"_Let's move" Mike nods and together we make our way over to Finn and claim a stool on either side of him._

"_Hey Finny boy" I watch as recognition and dread wash over his face._

"_San" he acknowledges and slowly turns to face me, "Thought you were dead"._

"_Aww, you'd like that wouldn't you" my voice as cold as ice._

_He picks up his beer and knocks it back before bringing his hand up and wiping his mouth, "What do you want, San?"_

"_What side are you playing for?" I ask, already reaching the full potential of my gag reflex at the stench wafting from the fuck-eyed, dickless blob beside me._

"_Well San," I watch his every move carefully as he stands up to get his wallet out and pay for his drink, "I mean, do you even have to ask?" he throws his money down on the counter and starts to walk backwards keeping eye contact, I grip my gun behind my back, "Besides I thought you were dead" That's all it takes for me to rip my gun out about to light that mother fucker up, but Mike throws his body at me. He pummels me to the ground before I get a chance. And it's a good thing too. Finn opens fire on the whole bar before taking off out the door._

"_Are you okay?" Mike asks as he pulls me up from the ground._

"_Let's go" I hiss before taking off after Finn._

* * *

"Come out, come out wherever you are" I call out as I slow to a walk, cautious of the dumpsters and back doors that run along the alley.

_He's got to be here somewhere._

Once I've walked about half way down the alley, but I hear a scuff up ahead and stop in my tracks. I squat down and close my eyes as I slow my breath and listen.

Wind whistling through the buildings, birds soaring across the rooftops, rats rummaging for food among the dumpsters, breathing.

My eyes snap open as I rise up to my full height and continue my walk forward. Right as I make to pass a small mountain of crates, Finn shoots out. I quickly duck avoiding his close line and swing my elbow back to connect with his spin. He drops to the floor grasping his back in pain. Momentarily distracted, giving me just enough time, I bring my gun up to his neck.

"Where is Puck?" he freezes in fear.

"You better answer me or I'll kill you, and leave your body to rot in this alley" I fume.

"I don't know. He's been leaving burn phones in my mail box when he wants to get a hold of me" he blurts out.

"That's all you know?" I inquire, my eyebrows rising in disbelief.

"Yes! I swear!" he yells out.

"It's crazy," I ponder and bring my finger up to tap my lips, "Just how easily you gave up that information. All I needed was my gun in your face?" I ask in revelation, "I wonder, what would happen if-"

I aim my gun at his knee and shoot.

He screams out in agony, "You bitch!" he desperately grasps at his oozing knee as he whimpers in pain.

"How many times have you leaked information while working for me?" I ask contemplating "Must have been making a lot of money on the side huh? Selling us out for what, a paycheck? Or safety, for when everything it the fan?" I state as I shoot his other knee.

"Stop! Please stop!" he desperately cries as blood puddles on to the concrete surrounding him.

"Must have been a hard life, being a, what would you call yourself? A double agent?" my voice humorless.

"Tusk, tusk, we can't have that now can we?" I state more then ask.

"Please Santana," he chokes out "You don't have to do this" his pleading eyes lock with mine.

I squat down, hovering just above his shattered knees. "I'm gonna ask you one more time" I warn "Where is my brother?"

"San,please" he begs.

I huff in disappointment and rise back up, "then I have no further use for you" I train my gun to his head.

"Sa-"

And pull the trigger.

His body slumps to the floor limp.

"San…" I turn around and am met with the shocked eyes of Mike.

I close my eyes and gather my thoughts, what did I just do? I'm not one for death, but something just came over me.

When I finally open my eyes they instantly lock with Mikes, "Clean this up" and with only last look at the mess that was Finn I turn and head to the comfort of Miss Lizzy.

_Shit just got real_.

* * *

**A/N**

**Sorry for not being sorry to anybody who's a Finn lover, but I can't stand him...**

**I hope you enjoyed! ;)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: A State Of Mind**

After leaving Mike in the alley, I came straight to the penthouse with the sole purpose to release all my pent up emotions.

That was three hours ago.

Three hours of my fists pummeling the punching bag, every punch threatened to break the chain it hung from. Three hours of perspiration dripping down my body and music reverberating off every wall in this damned room.

And three hours of Finn's voice haunting me.

I just killed someone, I took a life. What does that make me, a murderer?

_Yes._

A Sadist?

_Yes._

A Monster?

_Yes._

"God" I bring my fists up and repeatedly bring them down on my head. Desperately, I try to rid the thoughts that plague my mind.

_"Please Santana," he chokes out "You don't have to do this" his pleading eyes lock with mine._

"Stop" I thrash my head from side to side.

_"San, please" he begs._

"Stop, please" a whimper leaves my lips as I bring my hands up to cradle my face.

_"Sa-"_

"No!" I cry and fall to my knees in grief.

I've killed before. I've killed indirectly and I've killed by my own hand. Each time was necessary. And each time, those souls I've taken from this earth haunt me. They creep just under my skin and remind me of the monster I truly am. But this time there was no reason, no reason at all to kill Finn. I could have told him to leave town, I could have shipped him off this god forsaken island.

But I killed him; I killed him in cold blood.

My eyes wander down to my hands and I flinch in fear. My hands are covered in blood.

"Oh god" tears stain my cheeks as I jump up in horror. I run up the stairs to the sink in the kitchen and turn the hot water on. I franticly try and clean the blood off my hands as the water boils my skin leaving my hands raw.

"Please" I choke.

_"San!"_

I scrub harder.

_"San, you in here?!"_

"It won't come off" I mumble.

"Oh my god…" I flinch and feel someone grab me from behind.

"Stop! I have to get it off!" I yell and try to break from their grip.

"Get what off, San?" Mike, it's just Mike.

"Blood" I weep, hysterical.

"San, San there's no blood on your hands" he gently whispers and tightens his hold on me.

I quickly look down at my hands and the blood is gone, like it was never there. I whimper in pain as my body starts to crumble to the floor.

"Come on, San" Mike gently picks up my broken body. "You're gonna be okay" he says while cradling me.

I cling to his shirt and cry into his neck as he carries me to my room. He gently lays me down on the bed and pulls the covers up over me.

"Stay" I whisper.

"Okay, San" he agrees and I feel the bed dip as he moves across it until his front is cradling my back and his arms wined around me and hold me tight.

"I got you, San" that's the last thing I hear before my body falls into a fitful sleep.

* * *

As I wake from unconsciousness, my mind slowly starts to put things together from the day before. I slowly open my eyes and squint in confusion at the night sky that greets me. I sit up and rub my eyes then turn to look at the clock.

"Nine, o'clock pm? No way I slept all fuckin' day?"

"Yeah San" I look up towards the door and see Mike leaning against the post.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I ask in frustration, "I have work to do, I don't have time to waste away the day!" I yell as I throw the covers off me and push off from the bed.

"I'm worried about you, San" he says as he walks towards me, "It's never been this bad before, has it?"

"Has what?" I ask, playing dumb.

"Your guilt trips?" he asks as his eyes pierce through me.

"Look I'm fine, I just got a lot to deal with right now" I cross my arms defensively.

"Are you sure? Maybe you should rest a little more?"

"Stop questioning me" I say as I slip my boots on and grab my jacket while walking out the bedroom door.

"Where you going, San?" Mike asks from the bedroom door as I start down the stairs.

"Confession" with that I close the front door behind me.

* * *

Sitting in the dark confession booth always gives me the chills. Have you ever wondered why they keep them so dark? I think it's to remind you of the darkness that awaits you if you don't truly repent from your sins. A sick twisted way of making you wait with your demons until the priest comes to relieve you of them and remind you of what awaits you if you should relapse and sin again.

Confession. To confess of your wrong doings, to ask for forgiveness for something that is unforgiveable. You seek the light when you're entrapped by darkness. Truthfully, the only person that can pull you out is the person that pushed you in, yourself. But we really come to the priest to ask if it's okay, if it's okay _to_ pull yourself out.

A sick twisted way to ask yourself if _you're_ ready to forgive _yourself _and move on, not change, because you know you'll be back again, back again to start the whole process all over again. Because no one is perfect.

"Forgive me, Father for I have sinned" I begin as I make the sign of the cross. "It's been 2 months sense my last confession. I did something that I know you cannot forgive nor would I ask you to." I take a deep breath and steady myself, "Father, I must confess that I have striped a life from this world before their time," I squeeze my eyes shut and breathe out, "in cold blood."

"My child, you know that I cannot forgive you for such a heinous crime. But yet you still came and confessed, why?" his voice asks with gentle inquisition.

"I needed to relieve my conscious, Father and also to let you know that I will work to never do it again" I turn to the partition hoping that the priest can hear the truth through my voice.

"Santana, my child, when will you learn, I wish you would leave this evil business that consumes your heart and mind before it's too late" he says as he slides the partition open to look into my tear filled eyes.

I look down in shame and at a loss for words. I know there is nothing I can say to defend myself. I've come to confession enough times for him to know the life I lead and the choices I continue to make.

"Santana" he says trying to make me look at him.

I shake my head and feel him gently cradle my face to guide my head up and lock eyes with him, "Be safe my child" he says bringing his thumb up to my forehead to make the sign of the cross.

I close my eyes and release a shaky breath, "Thank you". I stand up with a new found strength and make my way to Miss Lizzy.

* * *

Once outside I pull out my phone to make a much needed call.

_"Hey Sluttana!"_ A high pitched voice says assaulting my ear.

I yank the phone away from my ear in aggravation and slowly bring it back "Sugar, always a pleasure"

_"Oh, Santana I haven't heard from you in so long. You weren't avoiding me where you?" _

"I would never" I husk into the receiver.

_"Okay babe, what's up?"_ she asks, enthusiastically.

"I wanna see you. Tomorrow, nine am sound good?"

_"Yes! Same place?"_

"Of course."

_"Bye Sanny."_

"Later Sugs" I say and end the call.

"Thank god that's over" I whisper under my breath and get into Miss Lizzy.

* * *

**A/N I hope you guys are still with me. Sorry this one took a little longer than usual been busy with Bartending school ;) But I promise next chapter hopefully Brittany will make it in along with sugar, hopefully.**

**Oh and a BIG thanks to Sabrina for planting the idea in my head of Santana going to Confession ;)**

**Drop a line, let me know if you hate or love:)**

**Until next time,**

**-Ash **


	13. Chapter 13

**Song for this chapter is Black and Gold – Sam Sparro when Santana goes to the dance floor ;)**

**Enjoy...**

* * *

**Chapter 13: Progress**

After leaving the church and coming to the conclusion that it was too late to do anything productive, I decided to swing by The Black Lagoon. Maybe dance my stress away and possibly run into a certain blue eyed blonde.

Clad in a red skin tight dress that barley fell past my ass and showed a generous amount of "the girls," I strut past the bouncer into the club. I wear my favorite black pumps, that I've heard, makes my legs look amazing.

Once in the club I scan the bar and I am bummed when I don't see what I'm looking for. I shrug it off and make my way to the crowded dance floor and let the music take control of my body. I close my eyes as I feel the beat pound against my chest.

**_As the fish swam out of the ocean and grew legs and started walking_**

**_And the apes climbed down from the trees._**

**_And grew tall and started talking._**

**_And the stars fell out of the sky_**

**_And the tears rolled into the ocean_**

**_And now I'm looking for a reason why_**

**_You even set my world into motion._**

As the tempo starts to speed up I slowly start to sway my hips back and forth.

**_'Cause if you're not really here _**

**_Then the stars don't even matter _**

**_Now I'm filled to the top with fear_**

**_But it's all just a bunch of matter_**

I bring my hands up and run my fingers through my hair then tantalizingly trail them back down my body letting one hand caress my breast while the other continues down to my thighs and torturously drag my fingers against them.

**_'Cause if you're not really here_**

**_Then I don't want to be either_**

**_I wanna be next to you_**

**_Black and gold, black and gold, black and gold_**

I feel someone press against me and immediate chills rush over me. Their hand comes around my waist and grabs mine from my thigh to intertwines our fingers. I submit into their body and lean my head back as I feel their breath hit my neck.

**_I look up into the night sky_**

**_And see a thousand eyes staring back_**

**_And all around these golden beacons_**

**_I see nothing but black_**

"San" her sultry voice hits my neck making me shudder.

Brittany.

**_I feel a way of something beyond them_**

**_I don't see what I can feel_**

**_If vision is the only validation_**

**_Then most of my life isn't real_**

She drags her nose down my neck to my collar bone and molds her body with mine. I bring the hand that's not clutching to Brittany's hand, up and grab her neck desperate for her to take my skin into her mouth.

**_'Cause if you're not really here _**

**_Then the stars don't even matter _**

**_Now I'm filled to the top with fear_**

**_But it's all just a bunch of matter_**

"God, you're so…" she husks out as she finally brings her lips down upon my skin. She begins laying hot open mouthed kisses just below my ear. It sends electric shocks of heat between my legs.

**_'Cause if you're not really here_**

**_Then I don't want to be either_**

A moan slips from my lips as I push my ass into Brittany's front desperate to create some kind of friction. I feel Brittany gasp against my skin as she releases my hand to grip my hips tight as she urges me back into her.

**_I wanna be next to you_**

**_Black and gold, black and gold, black and gold_**

I hear her groan as I press back against her core with more vigor as my newly free hand reaches up to tangle through her blonde tresses.

**_I wanna be next to you_**

**_Black and gold, black and gold, black and gold_**

"Fuck, San" she husks before spinning me around to face her.

**_Black and gold, black and gold, black and gold, Black and gold_**

I look into her eyes that are filled to the brim with desire. A smirk spreads across my face as I look down at what she's wearing. She's got on a white dress shirt. The first few buttons were undone and gave me the perfect view of her cleavage; tied at the bottom showing off just enough skin to leave you wanting more, and the best part, a short pencil skirt with red knee high socks.

**_Black and gold, black and gold, black and gold_**

I bit my lip. "Damn Britt," I husk out as I bring my hand up to slowly trace down her neck, "if I would have known you were gonna dress like this" my fingers reaching her collarbone, "I would have brought my ruler" I drag my tongue across my bottom lip in want "teach you a few things" I drag my nails against the top of her breast "cause you've been a bad girl" I finish and look up at her from under my eyelashes. Her eyes are a dark shade of blue as she stares at me with lust while biting her bottom lip.

**_'Cause if you're not really here _**

**_Then the stars don't even matter _**

**_Now I'm filled to the top with fear_**

**_But it's all just a bunch of matter_**

"Fuck it" she blurts out before crashing her lips with mine.

**_'Cause if you're not really here_**

**_Then I don't want to be either_**

I'll never get used to the feeling that overflows me when our lips connect; it's a rush of euphoria. She instantly makes my knees weak. I bring my hands up around her neck to gain some semblance of balance but as her tongue drags across my bottom lip my knees give out completely.

**_I wanna be next to you_**

Brittany catches the back of my thighs and lifts me up so I can wind them around her waist. I pull the back of her neck close as I crash my lips back against hers in a desperate kiss meeting her tongue half way. I feel her shudder into me as my back collides with a wall. How we got over to the wall is beyond me but I'm not complaining. Brittany grabs my face taking control of the kiss. She sucks on my lip before releasing it with a wet pop and starts trailing kisses down my neck only stopping to bite and suck on my pulse point making the heat between my legs reach new heights.

**_Black and gold, black and gold, black and gold, Black and gold Black and gold, black and gold, black and gold_**

I gasp for air I didn't even know I needed and slowly open eyes I didn't know where closed. I freeze in shock at the eyes staring back at me from across the bar.

"Shit."

Brittany must notice the change in my voice because she stops kissing me and looks up in confusion.

"What's wrong, San?"She asks between deep breaths.

"We gotta go, now" I say in a sickly calm voice that contradicts the look of horror on my face.

"Who are you looking at?" she asks about to turn around.

"No" I quickly grab her face and wait till her eyes meet mine.

"If he doesn't know what you look like he can't come after you" I say stressing the seriousness of our current situation.

"Who, San?" Brittany asks as her eyes pierce into mine.

"Puck."

"There's a back way out, follow me" Brittany says while grabbing my hand as she pulls me into motion. We weave through the crowd of people in a quick practiced fashion that only Brittany can do. And make it to a door with a security code that Brittany quickly types in. Once inside we race down a few hallways and come to a stop in front of a door at the end of the hall.

I look up at Brittany searching her eyes "When we walk out stay close to me and keep your head down" I stress.

She nods in understanding.

I take a deep breath, "Okay let's do this" I say before pushing the door open. I walk out with Brittany huddled to my side her head cuddled into my shoulder as if she were cold.

We walk around the side of the building and cross the street heading in the opposite direction of my car. I keep an eye out for anyone that might be following us and after walking about five blocks I pull out my phone to call a cab.

Once I hang up I look down at Brittany and sigh in frustration. "I can't keep putting you in danger like this, Britt" I say bringing my hands up to run through my hair. I start to pace.

"Hey stop, we've been through this" she says, her eyes pierce through mine daring me to argue further.

"Ugh, fine" I huff out.

"Now come here, I'm cold" she reaches out for me. I slowly walk back to her letting her arms wrap around me.

"We're gonna be okay, San" she whispers into my ear.

I sigh and tighten my grip around her waist, "I hope so".

Five more minutes pass before the taxi finally pulls up and we are forced to break apart. I open the door for her and tell her to let the driver take her home.

"You're not coming, San?" she asks in confusion.

"No, I'm gonna have Mike pick me up" I say smiling down at her.

"Promise?" she asks as the beginnings of a pout start to take over her face.

I bend down and kiss her lips, "No need to pout babe, I promise".

I close her door before she can say anything further and knock on the passenger window. The taxi driver rolls the window down and I hand him money for the drive.

I wave as the cab pulls away from the curb and watch the car drive off and disappear around the corner. I pull my phone out and dial Mike's number.

"I'm at the corner of tenth and Oak Street. Come pick me up now" I say before hanging up.

* * *

After getting picked up and dropped off and successfully avoiding Mike's questions I make that trip up to 'cedes floor. It's a trip thanks to that fucking death trap contraption of an elevator. I crash on the couch in 'cedes living room and succumb to exhaustion.

* * *

_"Throw it up, throw it up, watch it all fall out, throw it…"_

I jerk awake at the sound of my phone's ringtone.

"Fuck!" I whine as I reach over to swipe my phone off the table.

_Sugar Psycho Motta._

"Ugh" I groan as I bring the phone up to my ear.

"Santana" she sings into my ear, "You better not be asleep" I can just imagine her standing there with her arms crossed, tapping her foot.

"Mmhm" I bring my hand up to try and rid the sleep from my eyes.

"Sanny!" she scolds.

"Alright, alright Sugs, I'll be there in ten".

"You're the one who picked the time, if you couldn't handle-"

"I'm sorry, Damn Sugar, I said I'll be there in ten! What else do you want from me, fuck" I say exasperated.

"Santana…" her voice is stern.

I roll my eyes as I get up and make my way to the closet in Mercedes guest room.

"I'm sorry, honey. I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?" my voice as smooth as velvet.

I hear her breathe into the phone for a few second before she finally answers me, "Hurry up, San. Ten minutes, you're not here, I'm leaving" she states before the line goes dead.

"Shit" I say as I rush to get dressed.

* * *

Ten or so minutes later I walk into a coffee shop that's exactly on the line between our two territories. I make my way through the tables of people enjoying their coffees until I reach the table at the far back of the shop and take a seat across from the lovely miss Sugar Motta.

Here's the thing about Sugar, she's completely insane. She can be completely endearing and entertaining one second but do something to make her mad and she'll flips like a switch and turns into a thing that nightmares are created from. But no matter what she's does, I can't bring myself to hate her. Growing up like we did, there are not many people that understand the pressure that comes with being a mob boss's daughter. I accept her crazy and in return she accepts the monster that lies just underneath my surface.

"Sanny" I watch as a smile stretches across her face.

"Hey, baby cakes" I chuckle out as I lean across the table to kiss her forehead before sitting back down.

"Sorry I'm late" I stress.

"All is forgiven, you're here now" she says before she brings her coffee up to her lips. I nod in acceptance and wait for her to finish her coffee.

"Okay San," she says as she places her now empty coffee cup back on the table.

"What have you heard?" I ask as I sit back to study her.

She breathes in deep before locking eyes with me, "There's talk that you've lost control of your territory," she begins "But that can't be true because the Lopez clan is the second fiercest mob after Sylvester."

I bring my fists down onto the table jostling the coffee cup that stands upon it and grit my teeth.

"It's true? San?" she asks in shock.

"Sugs, Sue is working with Shue and…." I trail off.

"And?" Sugar asks as she leans forward across the table.

"Puck."

"What!" she spits out in disgust.

"Believe it, there trying to take over all the territories Sug. We need to band together to keep ours intact and stop them before this turns into an all out war".

She falls back into her chair in disbelief. I watch as she contemplates what to do next before her eyes shoot up and lock with mine.

"How do I know I can trust you? How do I know you're not secretly apart of this?"

I scrunch up my face in disgust, "Are you fuckin kidding me right now!" I seethe out.

"My father put a hit out on my brother! This is no ploy to go after your territory! Look all you have is me, Sugar. If shit hits the fan you're gonna be on your own, and lets be real, your rich ass territory ain't nothing but some lazy ass bitches that lounge around only hiring people for the sole purpose of wiping your ass." I hiss out as I push off from my chair about to storm out, "Fuck this shit".

Sugar grabs my arm as I go to pass her, "Okay San, I believe you. I'll have a talk with my dad and let you know what our next move will be, okay?"

I rip my arm from her grip and Lock eyes with her, "Joy" I grit out, I turn around and continue to walk out the door.


	14. Chapter 14

**_A/N: Okay Can I just say I'm completely baffled by the 50 plus followers I've reached! You guys are, excuse my language, FUCKING AWESOME! Also a big thanks to the peeps that favorited me and my story!_**

**_Oh and you can thank Miss Cactusgirl329 for her mad skills cause I was hecka stuck on this chapter and she helped me out BIG TIME!_**

* * *

**Chapter 14: Recognition **

After leaving the coffee shop, as pissed as I was, I know why she questioned me. If the roles were reversed I'd have done the same thing; because if a brother can turn on his sister, a friend can surely turn on a friend.

There's always a moment though, a moment where you ask yourself, How did it get this far? Did I really mean to do that? And most importantly, will I regret this decision?

Moments like these are where you truly learn about yourself and the type of person you are.

That moment of clarity hasn't hit me yet. I don't know if it will this time. I don't really know what I'm fighting for anymore. If we succeed in beating Sue and Shuester, that means Puck dies and we continue on like nothing happened. If we lose, everything as we know it will be gone; we'll be completely uprooted from the only life we've ever known.

There's something that's been bothering me, something I need to know before I can willingly commit to whatever our next move is. Why was Puck at The Black Lagoon last night? Did he chase after me? Did he see Brittany's face?

"San"

"Hmm" I hum as I continue to stare out at the view from Mercedes apartment window.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Without turning around I hold my hand out palm up. A small smile slips from my lips as I feel the penny being dropped into my hand. I fist it for a moment then slowly turn around to face Mercedes.

"I saw Puck last night and I'm just worried he might have seen Britt's face. I have no idea how long he was watching me before I noticed he was there" I finish once again getting lost in my head.

"I guess only time will tell" I finish and bring my hand up to scratch the back of my neck.

"What am I gonna do with you, San?" I look up at 'cedes and see her smiling at me.

I chuckle, "What?"

"Nothing, silly girl" her eyes shine with such affection it baffles me. "Come here" she motions to the spot next to her on the couch.

I roll my eyes in faux annoyance and walk over to her. I plop down on the cushions and swing my feet up so they rest on her lap. After a moment of fidgeting around I settle myself and look up and am met with amused eyes. "What!" I whine out and bring my arms up to cross protectively over my chest and pout.

I watch as Mercedes tilts her head back in pure unadulterated happiness, "oh man" she says while whipping tears from her eyes.

"Oh fuck this" I say and motion to get up.

"Aww San, come on, I'm done, promise." She chuckles.

I slouch back and glare at her, "What's so funny anyway?"

A smile spreads across her face as she studies me, "You like her a lot" she states.

I squint in confusion, waiting for her to elaborate.

"If you didn't you wouldn't keep putting yourself in danger just to go see her. Or worry about putting her in danger if someone sees her with you" she finishes in her matter-of-fact tone.

"Oh here we go!" I say in exasperation. "I can't make a damn move without you lookin' for some secret meaning behind it!" I get up and start to pace behind the couch, "What's your deal, why do you do that? Can't I just do something because I want to? Why does there have to be some secret meaning behind my actions?" I stop pacing, my eyes piercing at Mercedes. She's looking back completely shocked.

"What now?" I ask, frowning.

"Oh wow," Mercedes gets up and walks around the couch towards me, "I want to meet her, properly".

"What? Hell no!" I step back and glare at her.

"Yes, San! It's obviously more serious than I thought" I stare at her in disbelief and utter denial.

"No, Mercedes it's not even that serious!" I shake my head in protest, trying to convince myself just as much as her.

"Oh honey, it is" she gently states while closing the distance between us and pulling me into her embrace.

"Shit" I huff out as I surrender into the embrace.

* * *

_6 years ago…_

_'Oh, San' she moaned from under me. She was close then. I could feel it and see it. Her eyes rolled back in ecstasy. _

_I grabbed her face with my right hand and searched for her caramel brown pools as I pumped my left into the depth of her center._

_I watched her as she struggled to open her eyes, but god once she did, all I could see was the love she felt for me. It was crippling and terrifying, but I loved every moment of it._

_"I lov-", her breath caught as I curled my fingers inside her. Her eyes locked with mine as she tried to tell me with her eyes what she was feeling. I nodded, knowing and feeling, the exact same._

_I brought my thumb down on her clit and watched as she surrendered to her euphoria and tightened around my fingers one last time before collapsing in contentment completely spent._

_I rolled off of her onto my side and watched as her breathing started to slow. I brought my hand up and gently brushed the hair from her face._

_"San" she whispered and turned on her side to face me._

_I smiled while I wrapped her up in my embrace; "I love you, Em" I nodded to rectify my words before I leaned in to seal them with my kiss._

_"God, I love you too. So much San" she said as she tenderly cradled my face with her hands._

_I remember lying there for a moment blissfully happy. A grumbling noise came from the body curled into me. I laughed, "Someone's hungry ayy?"_

_"Yeah I wonder whose fault that is", she accused as she nudged my side._

_"Look, I was on my way out to get some more groceries, you're the one that turned our goodbye kiss into something more" I chuckled out._

_"Oh my god San, you can't be serious! I told you! I told you if you where gonna wear those shorts around me there gonna get ripped right back off, you started this shit!" she smacked my stomach._

_"Ooph" I curled away from her giggling._

_"Now get your ass up and go get me some food." She said as she smacked my naked ass._

_I jumped up from the bed and quickly turned around and glared at her, "Not fair"._

_"I'm sorry baby, but I really am hungry" she pouted "Please go get food". She said as she crawled to the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around my neck._

_"Ugh fine" I smirked into her lips as she kissed me._

_"I love you, you know that right?" she said as she pulled back and searched my eyes._

_"I know, baby," I answered her as I nudged my nose against hers._

_"I love you too" I pecked her lips before pulling away to get dressed._

* * *

_Twenty minutes later…._

_I crossed the street over to our apartment building; my hands were filled with groceries. I struggled to get the door open to the lobby. _

_"The shit I do for you sometimes," I muttered under my breath._

_I got into the elevator and dropped the groceries in relief as I waited for the stupid elevator to bring me up to the seventh floor. Once it dinged and the doors opened, I scrambled to get the groceries up and myself out before the doors closed on me. _

_"Ugh I fuckin' hate elevators" I hissed out as I struggled to make it to our door. Once I got there, I remember this crippling feeling that flooded my body as I looked up and saw the door cracked open. _

_I quietly put down the groceries and cautiously pushed the door open with my foot. My eyes widened in horror at the chaos that was our living room. Furniture, books and pillows were strewn everywhere. The television was tipped over broken. _

_Panic, I remember the panic that took over my body as I rushed into the bedroom. Where I had seen her last, where I left her._

_My knees crumbled and I chocked back a sob when my eyes finally found her amongst the disarray that was our room. Her body lay in a pool of what could only be her own blood with a knife sticking out from the middle of her chest. _

_I crawled to her, tears racked my body. I gently picked her body up and cradled her in my arms, "Ba-baby, Emily-y" I choked out as I tried to get her to open her eyes. "Baby ple-please open your eyes" I franticly tried to brushed the hair and blood from her face._

_"No, no, no, no, no." I sobbed as I laid kisses upon her face. _

_"Emily wake up!" I screamed as I shuck her lifeless body and watched as she slumped into my arms. Dead._

* * *

I remember that day as if it were yesterday. After that day, something switched in me. I officially joined the family business and threw myself into my work and hunted that bastard down.

Cops told me it was a robbery; what a bunch of bull. Why would someone go all the way up to the seventh floor and randomly pick our apartment and break in minutes, if not seconds, after I left? It was planned and he wasn't getting away with killing Emily in cold blood.

I found him and I killed him slowly. I chopped off every single one of his body parts, one by one, and felt his blood splatter across me and the floor before I shot him in the head. From then on, I promised myself I'd never love another. But maybe Mercedes is right…whether I want to believe it or not, maybe I do feel something for Brittany.

* * *

**_A/N: Bye-bye DOMA and take your friend Prop 8 with you! MARRIAGE EQUALITY FOR ALL! _**


End file.
